Texts From Last Night

littlefish09's Favorites Texts:

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts

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  (937): there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts http://tfl.nu/ju9y
  Replies (28) Good night (4949) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.

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  (409): First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance. http://tfl.nu/3lur
  Replies (32) Good night (8957) Bad night (1515) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.

  (1-530): View more from California

  fuck. you.

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  (530): I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight. (1-530): fuck. you. http://tfl.nu/1kgv
  Replies (53) Good night (11253) Bad night (1328)
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  (310): View more from California

  i fucked a milf yesterday.

  (619): View more from California

  i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.

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  (310): i fucked a milf yesterday. (619): i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old. http://tfl.nu/l3df
  Replies (28) Good night (12465) Bad night (1352)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.

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  (412): One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging. http://tfl.nu/rajk
  Replies (29) Good night (3879) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

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  (519): i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? http://tfl.nu/08w4
  Replies (98) Good night (31489) Bad night (2952) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.

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  (516): If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals. http://tfl.nu/q4jm
  Replies (9) Good night (502) Bad night (1040) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."

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  (904): I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear." http://tfl.nu/t3d7
  Replies (4) Good night (3611) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.

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  (513): Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud. http://tfl.nu/fmdm
  Replies (96) Good night (12491) Bad night (1801) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me

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  (248): if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me http://tfl.nu/fz0a
  Replies (8) Good night (496) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

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  (303): You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat. (1-303): ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent. http://tfl.nu/2smi
  Replies (17) Good night (11614) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  oh fuck your right

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  (214): i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can. (1-214): oh fuck your right http://tfl.nu/6rmf
  Replies (21) Good night (3946) Bad night (405)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Talk to you next week

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  (731): I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period. (601): Talk to you next week http://tfl.nu/n6cb
  Replies (29) Good night (534) Bad night (1422)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

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  (618): So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in. http://tfl.nu/s63a
  Replies (39) Good night (3832) Bad night (4949) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...

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  (917): All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus... http://tfl.nu/bdby
  Replies (8) Good night (768) Bad night (1184) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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  (619): Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. http://tfl.nu/4wgk
  Replies (45) Good night (26778) Bad night (1591) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  maybe i'll see you again later :)

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd rather shit a knife.

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  (612): maybe i'll see you again later :) (774): I'd rather shit a knife. http://tfl.nu/qge0
  Replies (50) Good night (1417) Bad night (10198)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.

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  (912): I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7kq
  Replies (31) Good night (7024) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move

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  (703): i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move http://tfl.nu/msae
  Replies (33) Good night (6834) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.

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  (918): Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building. http://tfl.nu/yoz8
  Replies (44) Good night (5687) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

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  (774): I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me. http://tfl.nu/t4sa
  Replies (9) Good night (385) Bad night (2526) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."

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  (646): So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit." http://tfl.nu/5gls
  Replies (31) Good night (786) Bad night (4477)
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  (805): View more from California

  she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

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  (805) she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat. http://tfl.nu/up7k
  Replies (12) Good night (821) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.

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  (404): last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy. http://tfl.nu/ky7z
  Replies (12) Good night (657) Bad night (4831) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening

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  (732): and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening http://tfl.nu/8ijj
  Replies (17) Good night (710) Bad night (4074) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"

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  (516): I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!" http://tfl.nu/g6w4
  Replies (81) Good night (4667) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

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  (801): I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion. http://tfl.nu/ntse
  Replies (28) Good night (10377) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.

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  (781): I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation. http://tfl.nu/r77c
  Replies (19) Good night (4753) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  bitch

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  (262): dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five (1-262): bitch http://tfl.nu/m1tn
  Replies (62) Good night (2663) Bad night (4445) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well

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  (845): the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well http://tfl.nu/8bb3
  Replies (22) Good night (3137) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

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  (904): I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom. http://tfl.nu/lxr2
  Replies (18) Good night (925) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.

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  (785): My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/kbij
  Replies (25) Good night (5119) Bad night (1435) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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  (949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7
  Replies (345) Good night (6796) Bad night (46053)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?

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  (314): On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you? http://tfl.nu/ocb5
  Replies (130) Good night (30196) Bad night (1855) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.

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  (907): she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit. http://tfl.nu/38x3
  Replies (31) Good night (498) Bad night (4882) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99

  (415): View more from California

  Recession joke.

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  (415): Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99 (415): Recession joke. http://tfl.nu/0g53
  Replies (10) Good night (2461) Bad night (343)