All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
