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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
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