Texts From Last Night

supawhaleshark's Favorites Texts:

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.

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  (586): he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/s6ky
  Replies (14) Good night (4899) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.

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  (651): Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me. http://tfl.nu/26ae
  Replies (7) Good night (2959) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

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  (416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l
  Replies (31) Good night (7582) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.

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  (937): Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me. http://tfl.nu/l4zf
  Replies (4) Good night (4913) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake

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  (740): I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake http://tfl.nu/bl2k
  Replies (41) Good night (8404) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom

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  (847): she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/dcxm
  Replies (26) Good night (548) Bad night (4267) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for

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  (540): Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for http://tfl.nu/c110
  Replies (8) Good night (1922) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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  (914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c
  Replies (6) Good night (2158) Bad night (1023)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina

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  (813): Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina http://tfl.nu/thir
  Replies (9) Good night (2280) Bad night (452)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.

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  (814): i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit. http://tfl.nu/riqs
  Replies (72) Good night (4350) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.

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  (510): After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip. http://tfl.nu/y98z
  Replies (4) Good night (1148) Bad night (1530) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.

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  (631): Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person. http://tfl.nu/vzo8
  Replies (15) Good night (3244) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

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  (954): Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song. http://tfl.nu/556m
  Replies (16) Good night (3889) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.

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  (216): Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades. http://tfl.nu/zsau
  Replies (10) Good night (3362) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.

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  (850): TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas. (407): i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful. http://tfl.nu/1iey
  Replies (32) Good night (10020) Bad night (461)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time

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  (248): I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time http://tfl.nu/uesv
  Replies (8) Good night (834) Bad night (5051) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Did you go home with that guy without me?

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car

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  (919): Did you go home with that guy without me? (479): Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car http://tfl.nu/ua1d
  Replies (8) Good night (742) Bad night (451)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (2529) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.

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  (918): It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin. http://tfl.nu/s6ok
  Replies (25) Good night (2910) Bad night (404)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.

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  (518): He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on. http://tfl.nu/jgdt
  Replies (6) Good night (2807) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed

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  (312): Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed http://tfl.nu/to9s
  Replies (3) Good night (1070) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.

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  (416): I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn. http://tfl.nu/iixt
  Replies (12) Good night (2490) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets

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  (+44): drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets http://tfl.nu/vhzs
  Replies (4) Good night (1970) Bad night (358)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.

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  (609): His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me. http://tfl.nu/x400
  Replies (36) Good night (933) Bad night (8123) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.

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  (305): I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him. http://tfl.nu/a6jy
  Replies (4) Good night (3269) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Breakfast tacos?

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS

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  (832): Breakfast tacos? (1-832): YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS http://tfl.nu/haxw
  Replies (17) Good night (2601) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...

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  (727): He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going... http://tfl.nu/31sf
  Replies (11) Good night (3522) Bad night (1374) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it

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  (201): I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it http://tfl.nu/a65q
  Replies (16) Good night (3595) Bad night (725)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.

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  (814): I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos. http://tfl.nu/dk8h
  Replies (12) Good night (2389) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient

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  (646): Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient http://tfl.nu/jyiu
  Replies (28) Good night (1037) Bad night (5123) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!

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  (443): just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?! http://tfl.nu/h1we
  Replies (13) Good night (6290) Bad night (741)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?

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  (214): just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high? http://tfl.nu/2d1b
  Replies (38) Good night (8446) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.

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  (206): Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is. http://tfl.nu/56s9
  Replies (83) Good night (9051) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.

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  (403): found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun. http://tfl.nu/lec0
  Replies (67) Good night (3002) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man

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  (207): Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man http://tfl.nu/9o60
  Replies (43) Good night (6110) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.

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  (703): like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it. http://tfl.nu/vg3u
  Replies (22) Good night (5819) Bad night (1018) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

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  (410): I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever? http://tfl.nu/67g4
  Replies (74) Good night (19928) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.

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  (319): Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year. http://tfl.nu/pkn3
  Replies (5) Good night (1610) Bad night (379)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?

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  (516): my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/m93n
  Replies (107) Good night (31250) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt