seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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