Texts From Last Night

Anonymous219's Favorites Texts:

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"

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  (603): she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer" http://tfl.nu/7wxh
  Replies (51) Good night (972) Bad night (3901) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts

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  (404): don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts http://tfl.nu/dnse
  Replies (13) Good night (3971) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets

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  (502): sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets http://tfl.nu/cbq3
  Replies (6) Good night (2329) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!

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  (248): Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!! http://tfl.nu/kly1
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.

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  (631): we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die. http://tfl.nu/91t8
  Replies (23) Good night (327) Bad night (3621) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there

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  (646): it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there http://tfl.nu/bxrn
  Replies (6) Good night (4879) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.

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  (714): they just dont make restraining orders like they used to. http://tfl.nu/scp3
  Replies (6) Good night (591) Bad night (2987) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam

  (212): View more from New York

  enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening

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  (610): how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam (212): enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening http://tfl.nu/wz05
  Replies (9) Good night (1783) Bad night (415)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second

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  (740): it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second http://tfl.nu/z13t
  Replies (11) Good night (873) Bad night (4868) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...

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  (469): i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine... http://tfl.nu/msgo
  Replies (34) Good night (12194) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love

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  (330): i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love http://tfl.nu/ix9b
  Replies (26) Good night (6169) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number

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  (709): I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number http://tfl.nu/l21z
  Replies (12) Good night (5171) Bad night (1140) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.

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  (973): UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to. http://tfl.nu/mbqt
  Replies (26) Good night (5460) Bad night (934)
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  (858): View more from California

  She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.

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  (858): She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause. http://tfl.nu/nsj4
  Replies (38) Good night (5344) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.

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  (615): His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary. http://tfl.nu/s0bc
  Replies (15) Good night (541) Bad night (4788) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one

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  (703): im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one http://tfl.nu/hfte
  Replies (53) Good night (7211) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

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  (516): I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume http://tfl.nu/0r2u
  Replies (47) Good night (1850) Bad night (4210) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  there needs to be a build-a-bong store...

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  (267): there needs to be a build-a-bong store... http://tfl.nu/zpe9
  Replies (53) Good night (8785) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away

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  (848): it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away http://tfl.nu/wxvn
  Replies (16) Good night (579) Bad night (5836) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option

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  (256): 'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option http://tfl.nu/mpq0
  Replies (18) Good night (4948) Bad night (1409) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song

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  (626): she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song http://tfl.nu/tlf6
  Replies (35) Good night (1353) Bad night (4091) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever

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  (847): stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever http://tfl.nu/se2n
  Replies (47) Good night (6522) Bad night (676)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

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  (252): I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son. http://tfl.nu/kdpy
  Replies (27) Good night (7823) Bad night (1172)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you

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  (251): you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you http://tfl.nu/7a0u
  Replies (57) Good night (11551) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them

  (718): View more from New York

  pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed

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  (203): there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them (718): pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed http://tfl.nu/7id4
  Replies (31) Good night (10676) Bad night (605)
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  (650): View more from California

  There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.

  (650): View more from California

  I tried to assassinate the ginger baby

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  (650): There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide. (650): I tried to assassinate the ginger baby http://tfl.nu/c72u
  Replies (28) Good night (1348) Bad night (564)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.

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  (405): It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him. http://tfl.nu/10ee
  Replies (25) Good night (1210) Bad night (1438) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Taylor Swift is so right about you.

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  (773): Taylor Swift is so right about you. http://tfl.nu/etcx
  Replies (9) Good night (504) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.

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  (508): i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer. http://tfl.nu/xz6n
  Replies (24) Good night (2051) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (499) Good night (82808) Bad night (7565)
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  (818): View more from California

  Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?

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  (818): Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me? http://tfl.nu/awe5
  Replies (45) Good night (2055) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".

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  (904): He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator". http://tfl.nu/yo1x
  Replies (59) Good night (761) Bad night (5706) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am the king of creep.

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  (262): I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me". (262): I am the king of creep. http://tfl.nu/3401
  Replies (12) Good night (3088) Bad night (768)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs

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  (219): shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs http://tfl.nu/nfdh
  Replies (21) Good night (505) Bad night (2854) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.

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  (541): I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him. http://tfl.nu/i7hv
  Replies (32) Good night (795) Bad night (4791) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.

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  (630): Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that" (1-630): Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere. http://tfl.nu/8i7j
  Replies (11) Good night (742) Bad night (2439)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?

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  (817): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"? http://tfl.nu/9rca
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear

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  (610): connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear http://tfl.nu/s27e
  Replies (22) Good night (2880) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt