I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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