Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

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  (360): he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them http://tfl.nu/8aam
  Replies (40) Good night (16451) Bad night (2044) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's not kidnapping if it's romantic

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  (912): It's not kidnapping if it's romantic http://tfl.nu/j4mo
  Replies (17) Good night (6291) Bad night (1658) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas

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  (225): Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas http://tfl.nu/fkrh
  Replies (27) Good night (5980) Bad night (2262) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

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  (716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e
  Replies (26) Good night (12340) Bad night (1157) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak

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  (952): I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak http://tfl.nu/wxhv
  Replies (29) Good night (765) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.

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  (410): he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE. http://tfl.nu/pbaf
  Replies (68) Good night (2938) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool

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  (972): the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool http://tfl.nu/pe2b
  Replies (13) Good night (466) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  one two three fourrrrnication!

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  (650): one two three fourrrrnication! http://tfl.nu/2jpj
  Replies (4) Good night (3549) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the red head has a bf

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

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  (843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score http://tfl.nu/bdta
  Replies (118) Good night (45003) Bad night (3406) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  fuck the hobbit

  (301): View more from Maryland

  what about unicorns?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  fuck those pointy horses

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  (732): fuck the hobbit (301): what about unicorns? (732): fuck those pointy horses http://tfl.nu/k7om
  Replies (9) Good night (2557) Bad night (621)
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  (916): View more from California

  put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

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  (916): put your butt on the phone this is a booty call http://tfl.nu/3vuo
  Replies (25) Good night (2890) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.

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  (508): i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer. http://tfl.nu/bdc9
  Replies (37) Good night (2078) Bad night (711)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.

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  (207): using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code. http://tfl.nu/hjm4
  Replies (26) Good night (4192) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"

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  (704): I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful" http://tfl.nu/hdrb
  Replies (26) Good night (5946) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.

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  (480): WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE. http://tfl.nu/0o9o
  Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (1778) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.

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  (678): I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time. http://tfl.nu/ogf0
  Replies (57) Good night (1232) Bad night (6690) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so horny!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so hungry

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  For your pussy...

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  (508): I'm so horny! (781): I'm so hungry (508): WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY! (781): For your pussy... http://tfl.nu/7j50
  Replies (64) Good night (23902) Bad night (1516)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  super hot butfun

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.

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  (832): super hot butfun (832): Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make. http://tfl.nu/zsez
  Replies (11) Good night (2947) Bad night (515)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ur plase or mine? lol

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.

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  (908): ur plase or mine? lol (1-908): well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine. http://tfl.nu/rmr0
  Replies (12) Good night (1101) Bad night (1812) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?

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  (757): I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you? http://tfl.nu/hgrf
  Replies (16) Good night (4773) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  My brain says no but my pants say off.

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  (902): My brain says no but my pants say off. http://tfl.nu/syce
  Replies (7) Good night (4916) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Goodnight sugar queer

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Sugar queer??

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?

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  (602): Goodnight sugar queer (480): Sugar queer?? (602): Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'? http://tfl.nu/rsho
  Replies (17) Good night (1472) Bad night (1917)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs

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  (617): come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs http://tfl.nu/knkn
  Replies (16) Good night (6605) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out

  (607): View more from New York

  what a beautiful fairy tale

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  (315): he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out (607): what a beautiful fairy tale http://tfl.nu/50v3
  Replies (33) Good night (10677) Bad night (698)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  69 |D_O

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  wtf does that mean??

  (602): View more from Arizona

  it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"

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  (602): 69 |D_O (1-602): wtf does that mean?? (602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently" http://tfl.nu/6ega
  Replies (59) Good night (7255) Bad night (814)
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  (760): View more from California

  I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.

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  (760): I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs. http://tfl.nu/67s4
  Replies (57) Good night (20774) Bad night (1329) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased

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  (617): Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased http://tfl.nu/sw63
  Replies (19) Good night (3600) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (301) Good night (100475) Bad night (5752)
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  (631): View more from New York

  k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.

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  (631): k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not. http://tfl.nu/ari1
  Replies (15) Good night (694) Bad night (7373) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

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  (402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce (1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE. http://tfl.nu/loe7
  Replies (105) Good night (12912) Bad night (1409) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.

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  (773): Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys. http://tfl.nu/g51j
  Replies (39) Good night (3814) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.

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  (503): You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living. http://tfl.nu/kso8
  Replies (14) Good night (2535) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!

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  (503): I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!! http://tfl.nu/reo6
  Replies (25) Good night (3047) Bad night (670)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.

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  (850): JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk. http://tfl.nu/brrf
  Replies (12) Good night (4099) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Five things that make you perfect. Go.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.

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  (918): Five things that make you perfect. Go. (1-918): The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/ni7m
  Replies (26) Good night (6225) Bad night (860)