one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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