Texts From Last Night · mariommusic's Favorites

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mariommusic's Favorites Texts:

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(480): View more from Arizona

I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"

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(330): View more from Ohio

If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.

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(716): View more from New York

its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose

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(213): View more from California

Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs

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(+66): View more from Thailand

A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

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(510): View more from California

Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

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