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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You smell like stripper and shame
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You're my little dorito
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
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