Texts From Last Night

BadAssRodeoHoe's Favorites Texts:

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  (813): View more from Florida

  If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure

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  (813): If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure http://tfl.nu/itoo
  Replies (6) Good night (3774) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.

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  (978): his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave. http://tfl.nu/6huv
  Replies (13) Good night (5293) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.

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  (405): She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do. http://tfl.nu/bqi8
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (4251) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...

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  (419): Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl... http://tfl.nu/mv65
  Replies (8) Good night (4048) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?

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  (703): Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf? http://tfl.nu/zyca
  Replies (7) Good night (3332) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.

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  (402): I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange. http://tfl.nu/kq15
  Replies (3) Good night (3239) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.

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  (773): grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet. http://tfl.nu/onit
  Replies (20) Good night (4943) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112224) Bad night (9729) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (127) Good night (127093) Bad night (2832) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142160) Bad night (9313) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (491) Good night (133096) Bad night (5770)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

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  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (485) Good night (173064) Bad night (6898) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.

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  (717): James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks. http://tfl.nu/8rn4
  Replies (17) Good night (5711) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell

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  (318): I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/2gyi
  Replies (12) Good night (6122) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (+06): View more from

  We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.

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  (+06): We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away. http://tfl.nu/dvn1
  Replies (13) Good night (6227) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.

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  (315): i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over. http://tfl.nu/n0ys
  Replies (15) Good night (8396) Bad night (1028)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.

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  (603): i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't. http://tfl.nu/rtpf
  Replies (12) Good night (7434) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?

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  (616): Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately? http://tfl.nu/0g6n
  Replies (18) Good night (7538) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

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  (412): he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor. http://tfl.nu/z7yu
  Replies (34) Good night (11159) Bad night (1374) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.

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  (504): He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life. http://tfl.nu/mz8p
  Replies (7) Good night (3422) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Come find me please? Im in a ditch.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  That doesn't help me much...

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm right under the moon!

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  (604): Come find me please? Im in a ditch. (1-604): That doesn't help me much... (604): I'm right under the moon! http://tfl.nu/u7hc
  Replies (15) Good night (13702) Bad night (1042)
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  (714): View more from California

  no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you

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  (714): no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you http://tfl.nu/e8y7
  Replies (7) Good night (2897) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression

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  (703): the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression http://tfl.nu/ti0p
  Replies (30) Good night (1081) Bad night (3654) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.

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  (434): Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying. http://tfl.nu/4yli
  Replies (3) Good night (2054) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.

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  (703): keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/vnaz
  Replies (3) Good night (2403) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.

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  (410): I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me. http://tfl.nu/7cby
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (1892) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?

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  (662): Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened? http://tfl.nu/nd5l
  Replies (6) Good night (2994) Bad night (1012) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there

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  (701): He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there http://tfl.nu/wgp9
  Replies (2) Good night (935) Bad night (1798) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.

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  (919): All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar. http://tfl.nu/cp66
  Replies (10) Good night (6067) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...

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  (715): i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend... http://tfl.nu/erib
  Replies (3) Good night (3301) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  "Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.

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  (770): "Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea. http://tfl.nu/i0ux
  Replies (10) Good night (2855) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.

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  (330): Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry. http://tfl.nu/4osi
  Replies (9) Good night (4496) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

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  (205): i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail. http://tfl.nu/mxx0
  Replies (15) Good night (6095) Bad night (1755) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.

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  (949): Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language. http://tfl.nu/y11c
  Replies (23) Good night (4413) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.

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  (306): I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not. http://tfl.nu/ytdq
  Replies (5) Good night (3548) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?

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  (315): why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall? http://tfl.nu/qv4b
  Replies (9) Good night (1099) Bad night (4144) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall

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  (719): we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall http://tfl.nu/c3tv
  Replies (11) Good night (3737) Bad night (1312) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower

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  (250): I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower http://tfl.nu/dtnj
  Replies (14) Good night (5940) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

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  (519): Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical. http://tfl.nu/sqyk
  Replies (12) Good night (6449) Bad night (1737) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.

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  (330): just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people. http://tfl.nu/iaht
  Replies (12) Good night (13197) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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  (443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi
  Replies (43) Good night (14866) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

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  (949): Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN. http://tfl.nu/2o4b
  Replies (33) Good night (14208) Bad night (1203) Order T-Shirt