Texts From Last Night

wow1991's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him http://tfl.nu/1o2o
  Replies (2) Good night (1027) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/hko9
  Replies (24) Good night (853) Bad night (5493) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (289) Good night (62262) Bad night (4268)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best. http://tfl.nu/ljti
  Replies (20) Good night (6894) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked... http://tfl.nu/ab3l
  Replies (27) Good night (6578) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it. http://tfl.nu/pgco
  Replies (13) Good night (6718) Bad night (1226) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit. (416): Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?! http://tfl.nu/iavy
  Replies (39) Good night (10184) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated. http://tfl.nu/xw0x
  Replies (17) Good night (16760) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist http://tfl.nu/hzre
  Replies (51) Good night (24086) Bad night (1574) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!? http://tfl.nu/ozc5
  Replies (31) Good night (9439) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor... http://tfl.nu/dk61
  Replies (9) Good night (1910) Bad night (5651)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much http://tfl.nu/3dmn
  Replies (26) Good night (10249) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
  Replies (48) Good night (25464) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix. http://tfl.nu/c1od
  Replies (43) Good night (9692) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death http://tfl.nu/irfc
  Replies (14) Good night (3539) Bad night (1342) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e
  Replies (26) Good night (12322) Bad night (1144) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos. http://tfl.nu/9xke
  Replies (194) Good night (38122) Bad night (1492) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome. http://tfl.nu/gu2z
  Replies (29) Good night (5207) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested. http://tfl.nu/53oj
  Replies (6) Good night (4898) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/kobd
  Replies (15) Good night (1416) Bad night (2318) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra http://tfl.nu/ayn1
  Replies (65) Good night (6007) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do. http://tfl.nu/vxoj
  Replies (16) Good night (3175) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

  (917): View more from New York City

  no it doesn't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere. (720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning... (917): no it doesn't. http://tfl.nu/6x89
  Replies (34) Good night (18194) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches http://tfl.nu/0tvi
  Replies (6) Good night (3876) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!" http://tfl.nu/vlcz
  Replies (46) Good night (15966) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken. http://tfl.nu/xxkh
  Replies (23) Good night (4471) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless. http://tfl.nu/tw3i
  Replies (141) Good night (2304) Bad night (2030) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle. http://tfl.nu/hct4
  Replies (33) Good night (6379) Bad night (1169) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis. http://tfl.nu/rix3
  Replies (17) Good night (5002) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  was that a mass text??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing. (571): was that a mass text?? http://tfl.nu/0791
  Replies (60) Good night (10826) Bad night (2177)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube http://tfl.nu/f16y
  Replies (4) Good night (959) Bad night (2792) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday. http://tfl.nu/tetw
  Replies (73) Good night (10866) Bad night (1446) Order T-Shirt