Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
