Texts From Last Night

thatguyC's Favorites Texts:

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.

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  (404): I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party. http://tfl.nu/j6hi
  Replies (12) Good night (6803) Bad night (687)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.

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  (270): I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world. http://tfl.nu/l4ml
  Replies (17) Good night (753) Bad night (8135) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.

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  (484): wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day. http://tfl.nu/pyo4
  Replies (7) Good night (4716) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I have another pimple on my ass cheek.

  (420): View more from

  I'll be there in 10 minutes.

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  (415): I have another pimple on my ass cheek. (420): I'll be there in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/3vda
  Replies (25) Good night (818) Bad night (7656)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.

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  (+31): No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam. http://tfl.nu/gz4d
  Replies (23) Good night (11110) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just thought you should know her name is kristen

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  (630): the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me. (630): just thought you should know her name is kristen http://tfl.nu/a2dg
  Replies (18) Good night (4896) Bad night (697)
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  (650): View more from California

  The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.

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  (650): The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life. http://tfl.nu/2quw
  Replies (6) Good night (512) Bad night (4044) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.

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  (661): this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date. http://tfl.nu/1wwe
  Replies (51) Good night (6929) Bad night (1390) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  What happened?....

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....

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  (304): What happened?.... (304): He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm.... http://tfl.nu/j714
  Replies (10) Good night (1362) Bad night (4872)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

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  (304): You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me. http://tfl.nu/fshf
  Replies (24) Good night (8189) Bad night (1554) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way

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  (317): and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way http://tfl.nu/pn6a
  Replies (20) Good night (9902) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party

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  (978): i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party http://tfl.nu/osnp
  Replies (23) Good night (6969) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..

  (219): View more from Indiana

  you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.

  (646): View more from New York

  nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..

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  (646): we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest.. (219): you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked. (646): nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us.. http://tfl.nu/wc73
  Replies (31) Good night (1020) Bad night (4460)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica

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  (860): Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica http://tfl.nu/womi
  Replies (9) Good night (4399) Bad night (1161)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So... What happend then?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.

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  (404): She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating" (678): So... What happend then? (404): We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM. http://tfl.nu/3t62
  Replies (49) Good night (10749) Bad night (2189)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

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  (504): I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna. http://tfl.nu/vetf
  Replies (42) Good night (1993) Bad night (6850)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  you should get a family discount.

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  (770): I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer. (404): you should get a family discount. http://tfl.nu/bl35
  Replies (33) Good night (10269) Bad night (1049)
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  (421): View more from

  And she was only 16?

  (1-421): View more from

  You say that like it's a bad thing.

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  (421): And she was only 16? (1-421): You say that like it's a bad thing. http://tfl.nu/zexo
  Replies (30) Good night (3047) Bad night (1185) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?

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  (504): He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird? http://tfl.nu/yuh6
  Replies (67) Good night (7546) Bad night (827)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off

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  (763): I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off http://tfl.nu/3u8c
  Replies (29) Good night (637) Bad night (10781) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever

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  (434): The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/goyi
  Replies (22) Good night (7396) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.

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  (918): My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost. http://tfl.nu/50uv
  Replies (32) Good night (603) Bad night (2755) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.

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  (706): Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate. http://tfl.nu/5lpe
  Replies (13) Good night (5647) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

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  (416): the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night http://tfl.nu/0qnk
  Replies (77) Good night (7397) Bad night (4058) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

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  (407): I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!? http://tfl.nu/85fy
  Replies (17) Good night (9108) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.

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  (347): I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/tax7
  Replies (70) Good night (18372) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord

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  (570): i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord http://tfl.nu/ym53
  Replies (10) Good night (2570) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.

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  (248): i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots. http://tfl.nu/9g8z
  Replies (13) Good night (6038) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  (432): View more from Texas

  He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"

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  (432): He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun" http://tfl.nu/hrdc
  Replies (28) Good night (2433) Bad night (3986) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.

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  (816): Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower. http://tfl.nu/cq6t
  Replies (41) Good night (1187) Bad night (12853) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.

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  (707): the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him. http://tfl.nu/x6kf
  Replies (43) Good night (4824) Bad night (1490)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos

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  (512): watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos http://tfl.nu/z3bc
  Replies (17) Good night (7634) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.

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  (780): Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah. http://tfl.nu/5le1
  Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (3979) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.

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  (602): When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself. http://tfl.nu/8ts9
  Replies (72) Good night (1864) Bad night (13826) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.

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  (413): I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3. http://tfl.nu/k38v
  Replies (38) Good night (14247) Bad night (1182)
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  (212): View more from New York

  i want you now

  (916): View more from California

  you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

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  (212): i want you now (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this http://tfl.nu/8egt
  Replies (143) Good night (5998) Bad night (67490)