Texts From Last Night · jgard2015's Favorites

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jgard2015's Favorites Texts:

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome

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(587): View more from Alberta

So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.

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