Texts From Last Night

atorres530's Favorites Texts:

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations

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  (216): Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations http://tfl.nu/f8qq
  Replies (18) Good night (5080) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.

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  (301): woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later. http://tfl.nu/zlbw
  Replies (3) Good night (3947) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  this just has baby written all over it

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  (859): this just has baby written all over it http://tfl.nu/ltui
  Replies (6) Good night (393) Bad night (3983) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.

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  (514): take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk. http://tfl.nu/mcib
  Replies (47) Good night (9617) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.

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  (609): the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real. http://tfl.nu/krsx
  Replies (39) Good night (601) Bad night (5104) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby

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  (757): if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby http://tfl.nu/8o91
  Replies (87) Good night (10244) Bad night (1621) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!

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  (864): A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier! http://tfl.nu/9qgj
  Replies (107) Good night (1695) Bad night (5400) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?

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  (314): On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you? http://tfl.nu/ocb5
  Replies (131) Good night (30703) Bad night (1947) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.

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  (806): Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks. http://tfl.nu/pxy6
  Replies (24) Good night (1403) Bad night (4283) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that

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  (917): Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that http://tfl.nu/jdka
  Replies (6) Good night (5317) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'

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  (518): im in his phone as 'great ass to tap' http://tfl.nu/xhkl
  Replies (26) Good night (9643) Bad night (1309) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.

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  (937): I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand. http://tfl.nu/sj9u
  Replies (31) Good night (8101) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.

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  (973): They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it. http://tfl.nu/8sm7
  Replies (75) Good night (20485) Bad night (2016) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.

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  (303): I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer. http://tfl.nu/2j6i
  Replies (76) Good night (14824) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk

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  (217): You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk http://tfl.nu/jf67
  Replies (29) Good night (3780) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.

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  (732): The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made. http://tfl.nu/5n54
  Replies (12) Good night (1194) Bad night (4094) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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  (732): So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?" http://tfl.nu/5x5l
  Replies (78) Good night (694) Bad night (16454) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.

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  (860): You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met. http://tfl.nu/wpe7
  Replies (9) Good night (2936) Bad night (295) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
  Replies (767) Good night (6467) Bad night (106512) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

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  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (468) Good night (165227) Bad night (6020) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.

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  (908): We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends. http://tfl.nu/o9if
  Replies (35) Good night (5120) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.

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  (503): He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat (1-503): Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby. http://tfl.nu/xtdn
  Replies (68) Good night (3792) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.

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  (612): life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix. http://tfl.nu/ht0i
  Replies (32) Good night (374) Bad night (4554) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Are you with Adam and his vodka?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

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  (516): Are you with Adam and his vodka? (1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued http://tfl.nu/0qde
  Replies (29) Good night (3932) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.

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  (217): we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself. http://tfl.nu/xzvt
  Replies (74) Good night (671) Bad night (4719) Order T-Shirt
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  (331): View more from Illinois

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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  (331): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open. http://tfl.nu/k0dm
  Replies (13) Good night (4778) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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  (424): View more from California

  Do u kno any dealers?

  (1-424): View more from California

  I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.

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  (424): Do u kno any dealers? (1-424): I've officially lost all respect for you, dad. http://tfl.nu/eaqw
  Replies (36) Good night (2415) Bad night (7232) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.

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  (402): Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery. http://tfl.nu/iy17
  Replies (64) Good night (1370) Bad night (9405) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

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  (248): thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer. http://tfl.nu/nnju
  Replies (59) Good night (987) Bad night (6207) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry

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  (214): would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry http://tfl.nu/l5su
  Replies (40) Good night (5389) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  im sorry, i don't get text messages.

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  (225): you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!? (504): im sorry, i don't get text messages. http://tfl.nu/s0zg
  Replies (13) Good night (538) Bad night (919)