Texts From Last Night · Martini47's Favorites

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Martini47's Favorites Texts:

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.

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(813): View more from Florida

Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.

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