Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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