Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize