Texts From Last Night

prtytime's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache http://tfl.nu/jjc2
  Replies (14) Good night (980) Bad night (3820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you? http://tfl.nu/ocb5
  Replies (131) Good night (30703) Bad night (1947) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette. http://tfl.nu/g97t
  Replies (26) Good night (1447) Bad night (4705) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places. http://tfl.nu/fel2
  Replies (81) Good night (6483) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me. http://tfl.nu/3m0w
  Replies (20) Good night (1172) Bad night (6361) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her? http://tfl.nu/cyj5
  Replies (23) Good night (1548) Bad night (3897) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that?? http://tfl.nu/9sps
  Replies (26) Good night (1208) Bad night (5631) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there http://tfl.nu/k2pn
  Replies (14) Good night (6332) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while. http://tfl.nu/5c77
  Replies (32) Good night (914) Bad night (8217) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  what was i wearing?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress' (508): what was i wearing? (203): nothing http://tfl.nu/2bg6
  Replies (21) Good night (14002) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday. http://tfl.nu/tx0i
  Replies (16) Good night (5958) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age. http://tfl.nu/rqe0
  Replies (25) Good night (1134) Bad night (5186) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible http://tfl.nu/u9b3
  Replies (16) Good night (3967) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him... http://tfl.nu/efrg
  Replies (36) Good night (5752) Bad night (1015) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ. http://tfl.nu/a72f
  Replies (6) Good night (5256) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick. http://tfl.nu/o2a1
  Replies (4) Good night (637) Bad night (3447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

  (714): View more from California

  Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Doctor said I have sports induced asthma. (714): Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape." http://tfl.nu/hfcj
  Replies (37) Good night (9276) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying http://tfl.nu/0ccm
  Replies (8) Good night (2910) Bad night (3709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that http://tfl.nu/t0hz
  Replies (22) Good night (5156) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Can you put "designated driver" on a resume? http://tfl.nu/qu7s
  Replies (8) Good night (4286) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (178) Good night (48655) Bad night (1815)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up. http://tfl.nu/oiun
  Replies (10) Good night (4316) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas http://tfl.nu/bksv
  Replies (42) Good night (4395) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/6x5x
  Replies (15) Good night (1099) Bad night (6566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude. http://tfl.nu/5a88
  Replies (174) Good night (5431) Bad night (77627) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (246) Good night (64506) Bad night (2455) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  17 year olds will be the death of me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): 17 year olds will be the death of me. http://tfl.nu/j3yc
  Replies (36) Good night (3532) Bad night (2541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping http://tfl.nu/vxfh
  Replies (24) Good night (4922) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious? http://tfl.nu/lazc
  Replies (106) Good night (6460) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk? http://tfl.nu/idqr
  Replies (25) Good night (5110) Bad night (1244) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and" http://tfl.nu/hqw1
  Replies (20) Good night (5962) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday. http://tfl.nu/86uh
  Replies (42) Good night (10933) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..." http://tfl.nu/9x9f
  Replies (16) Good night (1750) Bad night (3490) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date. http://tfl.nu/1wwe
  Replies (51) Good night (6929) Bad night (1390) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole http://tfl.nu/otvq
  Replies (430) Good night (52071) Bad night (5861) Order T-Shirt