Texts From Last Night

DJJ's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to get rid of the hedgehog.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Does it come with a cage?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yes. and food and toys.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i'll trade you an 8th for it

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  deal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i have to get rid of the hedgehog. (765): Does it come with a cage? (201): yes. and food and toys. (765): i'll trade you an 8th for it (201): deal. http://tfl.nu/2d4g
  Replies (26) Good night (9621) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?" http://tfl.nu/prc0
  Replies (8) Good night (3478) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer. http://tfl.nu/t35w
  Replies (22) Good night (4394) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome? http://tfl.nu/vqed
  Replies (56) Good night (1935) Bad night (9527) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook. http://tfl.nu/7oed
  Replies (54) Good night (18458) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to http://tfl.nu/xbm0
  Replies (33) Good night (1564) Bad night (4299) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark http://tfl.nu/4we1
  Replies (56) Good night (5982) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  did u really fuck my little sister???

  (706): View more from Georgia

  im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): did u really fuck my little sister??? (706): im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess" http://tfl.nu/dz4c
  Replies (155) Good night (15583) Bad night (1719)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out. http://tfl.nu/7ruz
  Replies (28) Good night (1307) Bad night (5052) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse http://tfl.nu/82q3
  Replies (10) Good night (567) Bad night (4037) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game http://tfl.nu/lfk3
  Replies (8) Good night (714) Bad night (6289) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy." http://tfl.nu/a1we
  Replies (91) Good night (21490) Bad night (3013) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified. http://tfl.nu/2va0
  Replies (27) Good night (5008) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  we live in such a classy society.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead. (815): we live in such a classy society. http://tfl.nu/glf0
  Replies (25) Good night (5511) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/35be
  Replies (16) Good night (791) Bad night (4064) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant? http://tfl.nu/9d2p
  Replies (15) Good night (585) Bad night (3037) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store... http://tfl.nu/z9dc
  Replies (50) Good night (7755) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/envw
  Replies (55) Good night (8263) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date. http://tfl.nu/r3cq
  Replies (17) Good night (676) Bad night (6428)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6
  Replies (12) Good night (6427) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video http://tfl.nu/p3je
  Replies (14) Good night (6765) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  ...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime (724): ...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname http://tfl.nu/hnce
  Replies (62) Good night (7312) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Honestly, what else do I have going for me?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  You make a valid point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets. (440): Honestly, what else do I have going for me? (216): You make a valid point. http://tfl.nu/ba8r
  Replies (22) Good night (1547) Bad night (3654)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again. http://tfl.nu/btf1
  Replies (60) Good night (7278) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  i can respect that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you. (1-404): i can respect that. http://tfl.nu/fvjd
  Replies (14) Good night (4815) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one. http://tfl.nu/7onj
  Replies (36) Good night (7782) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/7fga
  Replies (18) Good night (7608) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me. http://tfl.nu/jzk3
  Replies (33) Good night (10287) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion. http://tfl.nu/ntse
  Replies (28) Good night (10870) Bad night (1215) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night. http://tfl.nu/15vj
  Replies (50) Good night (4903) Bad night (1541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

  (949): View more from California

  I gave it to your brother to give to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt
  Replies (55) Good night (13571) Bad night (5101)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  People still let you watch their kids?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer. (1-970): People still let you watch their kids? http://tfl.nu/8t1p
  Replies (18) Good night (5964) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho http://tfl.nu/chvf
  Replies (56) Good night (2023) Bad night (14778) Order T-Shirt