Texts From Last Night

wfshay23's Favorites Texts:

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  (949): View more from California

  you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one

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  (949): you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one http://tfl.nu/7gmu
  Replies (10) Good night (5931) Bad night (1260) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.

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  (519): I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy. http://tfl.nu/1qel
  Replies (22) Good night (5901) Bad night (1080) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out

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  (281): She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out http://tfl.nu/guh4
  Replies (33) Good night (10959) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''

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  (608): all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!'' http://tfl.nu/g7vx
  Replies (22) Good night (7007) Bad night (752)
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  (805): View more from California

  He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex

  (949): View more from California

  How do you have pretend sex?

  (805): View more from California

  It was bad...so it was pretend

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  (805): He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex (949): How do you have pretend sex? (805): It was bad...so it was pretend http://tfl.nu/3mvm
  Replies (13) Good night (541) Bad night (3751)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (131) Good night (60858) Bad night (1897) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73395) Bad night (2473) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142170) Bad night (9315) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...

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  (417): i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was... http://tfl.nu/mlza
  Replies (82) Good night (8876) Bad night (2337) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

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  (713): she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful? http://tfl.nu/75hl
  Replies (123) Good night (46604) Bad night (1694)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Why did you send me a picture of a dick?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.

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  (815): Why did you send me a picture of a dick? (630): It was an accident sry. Not mine tho. http://tfl.nu/rf2s
  Replies (15) Good night (622) Bad night (1295)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.

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  (313): We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure. http://tfl.nu/sjew
  Replies (0) Good night (902) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend

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  (954): Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/zfzy
  Replies (14) Good night (832) Bad night (3707) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"

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  (920): She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets" http://tfl.nu/73nd
  Replies (27) Good night (864) Bad night (3282) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  This bar receipt from last night makes no sense

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I wish that would've worked

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  (870): This bar receipt from last night makes no sense (573): You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total (870): I wish that would've worked http://tfl.nu/u8a6
  Replies (24) Good night (3192) Bad night (574)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.

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  (207): Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers. http://tfl.nu/gf42
  Replies (8) Good night (3586) Bad night (799)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.

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  (708): bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not. http://tfl.nu/0qt3
  Replies (12) Good night (6240) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.

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  (816): He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork. http://tfl.nu/6zkt
  Replies (37) Good night (15415) Bad night (961) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"

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  (918): I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn" http://tfl.nu/8vnd
  Replies (20) Good night (916) Bad night (5381) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.

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  (508): He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think. http://tfl.nu/5bqt
  Replies (36) Good night (6219) Bad night (464)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"

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  (978): Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?" http://tfl.nu/0wwp
  Replies (20) Good night (6726) Bad night (899)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face

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  (856): my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face http://tfl.nu/f36p
  Replies (3) Good night (1038) Bad night (3314) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.

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  (804): god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away. http://tfl.nu/mycs
  Replies (12) Good night (1013) Bad night (3968) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

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  (484): You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you. http://tfl.nu/o9a4
  Replies (3) Good night (1231) Bad night (2922) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me

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  (661): I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me http://tfl.nu/2y9m
  Replies (25) Good night (11036) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.

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  (315): I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine. http://tfl.nu/7gi6
  Replies (15) Good night (6442) Bad night (1273) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  dude, osama threatened the US again

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  dude. i slept with your sister last night

  (847): View more from Illinois

  what?

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news

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  (847): dude, osama threatened the US again (1-847): dude. i slept with your sister last night (847): what? (1-847) I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news http://tfl.nu/r4dc
  Replies (26) Good night (5099) Bad night (637)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Stop trying to talk to my friends!!

  (1-845): View more from New York

  then get some ugly ones...

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  (845): Stop trying to talk to my friends!! (1-845): then get some ugly ones... http://tfl.nu/5xvc
  Replies (18) Good night (6064) Bad night (1454) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

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  (817): Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him. http://tfl.nu/25q8
  Replies (63) Good night (27878) Bad night (1192) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"

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  (808): white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month" http://tfl.nu/8vpl
  Replies (46) Good night (14669) Bad night (1297) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.

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  (810): He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life. http://tfl.nu/cn7c
  Replies (15) Good night (6280) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (353): View more from

  I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number

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  (353): I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number http://tfl.nu/ogfc
  Replies (7) Good night (569) Bad night (4028) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

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  (920): We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy http://tfl.nu/hjxb
  Replies (31) Good night (5436) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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  (850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos. http://tfl.nu/15bf
  Replies (74) Good night (17438) Bad night (1316)