I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
