Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave