Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
