Texts From Last Night · bigtons2394's Favorites

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bigtons2394's Favorites Texts:

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job

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(905): View more from Ontario

The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

At least make sure they are 18

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Why

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.

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(217): View more from Illinois

you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...

(1-217): View more from Illinois

please don't ever take me to a strip club again...

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(541): View more from Oregon

You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.

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(323): View more from California

You got in a fight last night?

(818): View more from California

Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

(323): View more from California

Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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