That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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