Texts From Last Night

Ratchetx's Favorites Texts:

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.

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  (419): I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight. http://tfl.nu/kz23
  Replies (46) Good night (8293) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  fireball beer pong. youre missing out

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  how is that even possible?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ove gloves.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  be there in ten.

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  (908): fireball beer pong. youre missing out (732): how is that even possible? (908): ove gloves. (732): be there in ten. http://tfl.nu/dpvx
  Replies (30) Good night (8420) Bad night (773)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

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  (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. http://tfl.nu/swmp
  Replies (18) Good night (9479) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"

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  (575): The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order" http://tfl.nu/htwe
  Replies (17) Good night (12238) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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  (701): She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex. http://tfl.nu/crgk
  Replies (63) Good night (20575) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...

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  (845): that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before... http://tfl.nu/0j29
  Replies (23) Good night (5869) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.

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  (905): The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty. http://tfl.nu/9wi8
  Replies (99) Good night (11813) Bad night (1533) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  And that worked?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.

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  (919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night. (1-919): And that worked? (919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. http://tfl.nu/moso
  Replies (68) Good night (12757) Bad night (1134)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella

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  (443): Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella http://tfl.nu/27sq
  Replies (31) Good night (11893) Bad night (1195) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

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  (416): the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night http://tfl.nu/0qnk
  Replies (77) Good night (7397) Bad night (4057) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.

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  (404): my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material. http://tfl.nu/r91w
  Replies (15) Good night (11389) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.

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  (503): what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed. http://tfl.nu/lo29
  Replies (28) Good night (2858) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

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  (267): He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever. http://tfl.nu/526w
  Replies (48) Good night (27266) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?

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  (574): I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight? http://tfl.nu/h1kj
  Replies (10) Good night (1450) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  it's love

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  (937): she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat. (1-937): it's love http://tfl.nu/getj
  Replies (16) Good night (4395) Bad night (559)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!

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  (615): Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY! http://tfl.nu/jz8m
  Replies (21) Good night (552) Bad night (3870) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.

  (305): View more from Florida

  Did you save them?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who?

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  (404): Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning. (305): Did you save them? (404): Who? http://tfl.nu/1xdf
  Replies (28) Good night (5179) Bad night (904)
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  (585): View more from New York

  she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?

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  (585): she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year? http://tfl.nu/9o4d
  Replies (58) Good night (9499) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.

  (1405): View more from

  I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?

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  (405): If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie. (1405): I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes? http://tfl.nu/u9sc
  Replies (45) Good night (9635) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10

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  (269): So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow (1-269): Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10 http://tfl.nu/n472
  Replies (63) Good night (14308) Bad night (500)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you

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  (205): Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you http://tfl.nu/nk9c
  Replies (16) Good night (619) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.

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  (678): I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts. http://tfl.nu/4sqd
  Replies (94) Good night (20247) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

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  (703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/b6gr
  Replies (34) Good night (14714) Bad night (606)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.

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  (651): Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you. http://tfl.nu/jbfy
  Replies (27) Good night (8562) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.

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  (205): I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs. http://tfl.nu/uuhy
  Replies (10) Good night (1354) Bad night (251) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.

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  (940): Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost. http://tfl.nu/jz6g
  Replies (25) Good night (398) Bad night (2869) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.

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  (208): I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3e1a
  Replies (29) Good night (3126) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.

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  (757): Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you. http://tfl.nu/6xm5
  Replies (54) Good night (6580) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office

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  (336): 1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office http://tfl.nu/b4dd
  Replies (18) Good night (4646) Bad night (295) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.

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  (330): We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens. (330): Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible. http://tfl.nu/ibu5
  Replies (22) Good night (421) Bad night (4801)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food

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  (720): Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food http://tfl.nu/f7o2
  Replies (121) Good night (7240) Bad night (1410) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.

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  (519): While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf. http://tfl.nu/v6r3
  Replies (22) Good night (3083) Bad night (8089) Order T-Shirt