Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
