Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."