Texts From Last Night

erinnn12's Favorites Texts:

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?

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  (405): She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after? http://tfl.nu/ibkm
  Replies (16) Good night (3447) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.

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  (239): dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me. http://tfl.nu/b0dd
  Replies (15) Good night (4128) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.

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  (607): I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson. http://tfl.nu/gvkr
  Replies (13) Good night (3202) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.

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  (949): You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic. http://tfl.nu/5o2h
  Replies (8) Good night (2361) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?

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  (519): On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend? http://tfl.nu/abvl
  Replies (28) Good night (8002) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

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  (773): I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming. http://tfl.nu/u6dn
  Replies (7) Good night (3995) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.

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  (713): Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner. http://tfl.nu/89n9
  Replies (7) Good night (2890) Bad night (1077)
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  (310): View more from California

  Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.

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  (310): Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate. http://tfl.nu/vwb7
  Replies (9) Good night (5383) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Come over. Drunk tacos.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  That isn't even a sentence.

  (214): View more from Texas

  I kept the important parts.

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  (214): Come over. Drunk tacos. (1-214): That isn't even a sentence. (214): I kept the important parts. http://tfl.nu/2pq0
  Replies (8) Good night (4620) Bad night (674)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.

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  (289): Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger. http://tfl.nu/9mbe
  Replies (17) Good night (5233) Bad night (818)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.

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  (318): As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right. http://tfl.nu/x0n7
  Replies (6) Good night (3377) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.

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  (210): If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever. http://tfl.nu/5js7
  Replies (8) Good night (4046) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, your ex-bf is on match.com

  (847): View more from Illinois

  details on that.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.

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  (312): dude, your ex-bf is on match.com (847): details on that. (312): well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes. http://tfl.nu/50kk
  Replies (6) Good night (1969) Bad night (809)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.

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  (505): They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties. http://tfl.nu/hv8c
  Replies (6) Good night (2852) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.

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  (805): I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something. http://tfl.nu/b077
  Replies (14) Good night (4534) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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  (832): I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed. http://tfl.nu/rvfy
  Replies (38) Good night (8682) Bad night (1721) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.

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  (314): Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one. http://tfl.nu/fj7c
  Replies (7) Good night (8584) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat

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  (615): i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat http://tfl.nu/x2jk
  Replies (30) Good night (5807) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...

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  (510): In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going... http://tfl.nu/8b0c
  Replies (9) Good night (4978) Bad night (724)
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  (831): View more from California

  She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs

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  (831): She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs http://tfl.nu/k6rx
  Replies (7) Good night (2957) Bad night (1015) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested

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  (612): Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested http://tfl.nu/tmq3
  Replies (5) Good night (1597) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.

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  (417): I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/6bqy
  Replies (16) Good night (4772) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"

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  (925): she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob" http://tfl.nu/t96e
  Replies (15) Good night (4440) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".

  (416): View more from Toronto

  That's about an "8" on normal scales.

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  (416): I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him". (416): That's about an "8" on normal scales. http://tfl.nu/joyf
  Replies (7) Good night (2605) Bad night (809)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.

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  (860): Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it. http://tfl.nu/t1oh
  Replies (15) Good night (2274) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.

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  (206): He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking. http://tfl.nu/jryu
  Replies (25) Good night (6026) Bad night (724)
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  (714): View more from California

  Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.

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  (714): Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again. http://tfl.nu/2ucs
  Replies (4) Good night (710) Bad night (2431) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.

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  (478): Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio. http://tfl.nu/i0fo
  Replies (6) Good night (2132) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She's clinging to me like a horny koala.

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  (425): She's clinging to me like a horny koala. http://tfl.nu/a9hq
  Replies (10) Good night (3302) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.

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  (407): Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills. http://tfl.nu/wclx
  Replies (9) Good night (1427) Bad night (1962)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?

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  (540): Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them? http://tfl.nu/3pc1
  Replies (16) Good night (1222) Bad night (4489) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  What do you think it is?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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  (214): What do you think it is? (615): It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow. http://tfl.nu/3ng4
  Replies (12) Good night (4902) Bad night (1460)