Texts From Last Night · askj's Favorites

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askj's Favorites Texts:

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(917): View more from New York City

And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.

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(541): View more from Oregon

So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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(917): View more from New York City

Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.

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(757): View more from Virginia

If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?

(269): View more from Michigan

Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.

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(631): View more from New York

Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.

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(904): View more from Florida

I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

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