Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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