you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
