Texts From Last Night

witchbabyrose's Favorites Texts:

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

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  (617): just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole http://tfl.nu/otvq
  Replies (434) Good night (54916) Bad night (6419) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes

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  (315): I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes http://tfl.nu/99as
  Replies (5) Good night (1643) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.

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  (571): How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back. http://tfl.nu/nr6f
  Replies (3) Good night (3040) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.

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  (860): Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms. http://tfl.nu/d3j8
  Replies (13) Good night (2019) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!

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  (617): I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed! http://tfl.nu/vwkc
  Replies (6) Good night (1551) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.

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  (615): Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success. http://tfl.nu/5s34
  Replies (4) Good night (1389) Bad night (399)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.

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  (403): Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit. http://tfl.nu/379t
  Replies (9) Good night (2699) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.

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  (973): I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/8wfu
  Replies (10) Good night (1899) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.

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  (978): you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant. http://tfl.nu/88h4
  Replies (18) Good night (4176) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky

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  (978): sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky http://tfl.nu/aofd
  Replies (17) Good night (4478) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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  (978): My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober. http://tfl.nu/yr07
  Replies (13) Good night (4475) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!

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  (978): so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole! http://tfl.nu/ivhw
  Replies (45) Good night (5746) Bad night (1170) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..

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  (570): Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me.. http://tfl.nu/j14b
  Replies (5) Good night (975) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.

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  (905): ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all. http://tfl.nu/qym2
  Replies (4) Good night (1453) Bad night (417)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.

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  (757): where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside. http://tfl.nu/wzli
  Replies (6) Good night (2146) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!

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  (+49): we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?! http://tfl.nu/7d9u
  Replies (8) Good night (2215) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone just got laid.

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  (480): Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness? (774): Someone just got laid. http://tfl.nu/ub8q
  Replies (17) Good night (9066) Bad night (1055)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.

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  (254): Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me. http://tfl.nu/nie2
  Replies (9) Good night (3781) Bad night (845)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

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  (309): I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors. http://tfl.nu/cath
  Replies (10) Good night (10938) Bad night (844)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b

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  (215): i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b http://tfl.nu/ogbj
  Replies (47) Good night (2248) Bad night (6250) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.

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  (203): Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin? (1-203): I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight. http://tfl.nu/pi9j
  Replies (19) Good night (1443) Bad night (6149) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.

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  (248): Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox (1-248): You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities. http://tfl.nu/l19y
  Replies (85) Good night (2716) Bad night (8963)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas

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  (901): Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas http://tfl.nu/y10v
  Replies (3) Good night (1480) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever

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  (720): My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever http://tfl.nu/wkge
  Replies (6) Good night (3163) Bad night (511)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.

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  (304): I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable. http://tfl.nu/ox4w
  Replies (3) Good night (2192) Bad night (484)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN

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  (978): Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN http://tfl.nu/dg4w
  Replies (5) Good night (2310) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.

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  (920): Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets. http://tfl.nu/3ocj
  Replies (12) Good night (706) Bad night (1603) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.

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  (909): I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic. http://tfl.nu/3gxu
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (1161) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Do what your heart wants. . .

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis

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  (901): Do what your heart wants. . . (504): My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis http://tfl.nu/o9fm
  Replies (7) Good night (2408) Bad night (688)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.

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  (419): That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself. http://tfl.nu/02m3
  Replies (8) Good night (1661) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.

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  (912): She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious. http://tfl.nu/k9y8
  Replies (15) Good night (910) Bad night (4178) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt

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  (708): I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt http://tfl.nu/chxg
  Replies (33) Good night (1211) Bad night (3270) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better

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  (831): tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better http://tfl.nu/2cpz
  Replies (3) Good night (1600) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.

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  (918): We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off. http://tfl.nu/7uo8
  Replies (12) Good night (1682) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love

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  (712): I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love http://tfl.nu/bjop
  Replies (23) Good night (4387) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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  (410): my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts" http://tfl.nu/2c0p
  Replies (14) Good night (3655) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  dude are you serious?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I know you already have a pic on your phone

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  (978): Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave (617): dude are you serious? (978): I know you already have a pic on your phone http://tfl.nu/k6lt
  Replies (95) Good night (2432) Bad night (2955)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him

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  (617): OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him http://tfl.nu/b4mt
  Replies (11) Good night (697) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

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  (617): I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/pj90
  Replies (8) Good night (1084) Bad night (3940) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

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  (617): gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist. http://tfl.nu/2uj6
  Replies (35) Good night (1175) Bad night (4348) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick

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  (617): shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick http://tfl.nu/i68n
  Replies (73) Good night (18460) Bad night (3573) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (50) Good night (19644) Bad night (1993) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would do horrible things to your vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Prove it.

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  (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3
  Replies (182) Good night (93462) Bad night (4594)