So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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