Texts From Last Night

kimfckable's Favorites Texts:

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  (916): View more from California

  my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

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  (916): my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out. http://tfl.nu/f1nl
  Replies (43) Good night (16026) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i think i left my bra at your place

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.

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  (901): i think i left my bra at your place (1-901): It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there. http://tfl.nu/dg7a
  Replies (21) Good night (10157) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

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  (804): she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off. http://tfl.nu/ypig
  Replies (26) Good night (5607) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.

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  (917): I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober. http://tfl.nu/rgt7
  Replies (7) Good night (4252) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.

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  (405): Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/6x5x
  Replies (15) Good night (1099) Bad night (6566) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock

  (347): View more from New York

  I THOUGHT I SAW YOU

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  (917): pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock (347): I THOUGHT I SAW YOU http://tfl.nu/jrv0
  Replies (27) Good night (12739) Bad night (1707)
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  (718): View more from New York

  bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation

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  (718): bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch (917): I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation http://tfl.nu/gosl
  Replies (40) Good night (34726) Bad night (1079)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Really.

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  (918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b
  Replies (100) Good night (9762) Bad night (2578)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits

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  (662): The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits http://tfl.nu/a8f8
  Replies (15) Good night (4821) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...

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  (908): i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer... http://tfl.nu/lulm
  Replies (8) Good night (6972) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style

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  (917): so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style http://tfl.nu/9r5x
  Replies (39) Good night (12059) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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  (254): There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN. http://tfl.nu/m7t2
  Replies (35) Good night (6850) Bad night (1090) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.

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  (330): You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox. http://tfl.nu/xeau
  Replies (41) Good night (7995) Bad night (4426) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

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  (412): Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today. http://tfl.nu/4lg3
  Replies (52) Good night (9683) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....

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  (847): he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad? (952): You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him.... http://tfl.nu/ht91
  Replies (37) Good night (1745) Bad night (7583)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

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  (319): Heyyyy darlin are you busy? (1-319): Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night. http://tfl.nu/pwb0
  Replies (34) Good night (23963) Bad night (1287)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"

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  (641): and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger" http://tfl.nu/o631
  Replies (20) Good night (5303) Bad night (1569) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  this study room smells like vodka

  (310): View more from California

  the study room thinks the same about you

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  (573): this study room smells like vodka (310): the study room thinks the same about you http://tfl.nu/w62g
  Replies (16) Good night (5897) Bad night (664)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

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  (303): You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat. (1-303): ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent. http://tfl.nu/2smi
  Replies (17) Good night (11780) Bad night (1185) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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  (704): The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it. http://tfl.nu/e919
  Replies (20) Good night (7354) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.

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  (417): My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys. http://tfl.nu/a4t1
  Replies (28) Good night (912) Bad night (5470) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier

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  (410): we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier http://tfl.nu/xjeu
  Replies (6) Good night (7593) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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  (757): I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it. http://tfl.nu/uqxt
  Replies (13) Good night (9073) Bad night (1401) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

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  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
  Replies (48) Good night (24102) Bad night (1021)
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  (718): View more from New York

  all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over

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  (718): all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over http://tfl.nu/ocfj
  Replies (14) Good night (7089) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas

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  (512): Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas http://tfl.nu/5abk
  Replies (22) Good night (7883) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M

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  (954): I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M http://tfl.nu/v1d0
  Replies (26) Good night (7362) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

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  (858): I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way. http://tfl.nu/w85x
  Replies (26) Good night (14156) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.

  (786): View more from Florida

  How high are you right now..

  (305): View more from Florida

  I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.

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  (305): Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind. (786): How high are you right now.. (305): I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT. http://tfl.nu/q5i7
  Replies (29) Good night (9723) Bad night (733)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.

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  (443): Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable. http://tfl.nu/quma
  Replies (7) Good night (5605) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.

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  (651): Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love. http://tfl.nu/7dfa
  Replies (15) Good night (6168) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is sufficient.

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  (412): Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living (1-412): bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug (412): This is sufficient. http://tfl.nu/p15m
  Replies (72) Good night (11557) Bad night (566)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.

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  (812): Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete. http://tfl.nu/9awl
  Replies (59) Good night (2454) Bad night (4746) Order T-Shirt