Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.