Texts From Last Night

Marine_lover12's Favorites Texts:

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.

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  (423): Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows. http://tfl.nu/qes9
  Replies (4) Good night (1231) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

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  (919): Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today. http://tfl.nu/hnp2
  Replies (12) Good night (5598) Bad night (295)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will be naked everywhere

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  (814): I will be naked everywhere http://tfl.nu/uvl6
  Replies (4) Good night (1474) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.

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  (214): Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time. http://tfl.nu/18ab
  Replies (19) Good night (2042) Bad night (251) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?

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  (813): EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order? http://tfl.nu/uphg
  Replies (28) Good night (3402) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  All I want is tacobeell and your body

  (1-925): View more from California

  that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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  (925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc
  Replies (8) Good night (2406) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.

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  (432): I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line. http://tfl.nu/q8nl
  Replies (20) Good night (4066) Bad night (511)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon

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  (402): You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon http://tfl.nu/n4f7
  Replies (16) Good night (889) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Ecstasy should be its own food group.

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  (316): Ecstasy should be its own food group. http://tfl.nu/46zl
  Replies (5) Good night (1035) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.

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  (207): Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level. http://tfl.nu/8m2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2065) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.

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  (519): I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT. http://tfl.nu/zwn2
  Replies (3) Good night (2348) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.

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  (631): I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship. http://tfl.nu/vmw8
  Replies (17) Good night (2168) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties

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  (845): I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties http://tfl.nu/lvqb
  Replies (12) Good night (2149) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Drunk you is pretty stunner.

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  (651): Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me" (612): Drunk you is pretty stunner. http://tfl.nu/hyj5
  Replies (9) Good night (3742) Bad night (525)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.

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  (317): I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock. http://tfl.nu/fdm1
  Replies (9) Good night (2771) Bad night (535)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja

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  (512): we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja http://tfl.nu/0h0h
  Replies (9) Good night (4705) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.

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  (623): My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here. http://tfl.nu/yssz
  Replies (19) Good night (3250) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits

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  (856): 12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong. (856): Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits http://tfl.nu/ncaq
  Replies (19) Good night (4700) Bad night (483)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.

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  (413): It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex. http://tfl.nu/wrcv
  Replies (13) Good night (3148) Bad night (762)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon

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  (978): I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon http://tfl.nu/xy8w
  Replies (5) Good night (3043) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero

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  (410): so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero http://tfl.nu/4z5t
  Replies (68) Good night (37819) Bad night (1246) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (434) Good night (107943) Bad night (8843) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.

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  (773): If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time. http://tfl.nu/xdpc
  Replies (14) Good night (4551) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.

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  (636): I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila. http://tfl.nu/ecf3
  Replies (15) Good night (4730) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place

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  (843): the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place http://tfl.nu/6i8c
  Replies (16) Good night (5560) Bad night (611)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?

  (850): View more from Florida

  I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

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  (850): Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave? (850): I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife http://tfl.nu/5iik
  Replies (84) Good night (36449) Bad night (1297)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be

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  (847): So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be http://tfl.nu/8bju
  Replies (208) Good night (18874) Bad night (663)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you

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  (214): 1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you http://tfl.nu/har0
  Replies (34) Good night (6830) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal

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  (951): I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal http://tfl.nu/pmv6
  Replies (23) Good night (9851) Bad night (713)