i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
