Texts From Last Night · rumrumandmorerum's Favorites

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rumrumandmorerum's Favorites Texts:

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(415): View more from California

I have a present for you

(415): View more from California

Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is

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(517): View more from Michigan

I ate the most amazing corn dog today.

(517): View more from Michigan

I will probably dream about it.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around

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(727): View more from Florida

I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.

(727): View more from Florida

I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'

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(661): View more from California

This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.

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(404): View more from Georgia

You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together

(770): View more from Georgia

The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy

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