Texts From Last Night

cpb168's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun. http://tfl.nu/lec0
  Replies (67) Good night (3193) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/48s1
  Replies (58) Good night (3425) Bad night (7586) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed???? http://tfl.nu/zsp8
  Replies (39) Good night (6235) Bad night (1471) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius. http://tfl.nu/hqjt
  Replies (26) Good night (7800) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  b/c u have herpes

  (310): View more from California

  No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss? (770): b/c u have herpes (310): No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole. http://tfl.nu/unxh
  Replies (19) Good night (907) Bad night (5387)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!" http://tfl.nu/ttkj
  Replies (99) Good night (26268) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning http://tfl.nu/zcz6
  Replies (33) Good night (2936) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  time to smoke my breakfast

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): time to smoke my breakfast http://tfl.nu/9r0k
  Replies (13) Good night (5069) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake http://tfl.nu/be1r
  Replies (4) Good night (3372) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens http://tfl.nu/oucj
  Replies (19) Good night (5577) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I understand why you refuse to be sober now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I understand why you refuse to be sober now http://tfl.nu/j30b
  Replies (8) Good night (4705) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever. http://tfl.nu/cy9z
  Replies (195) Good night (10541) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Agreed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet. (1-561): Agreed http://tfl.nu/8njb
  Replies (44) Good night (2819) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf. http://tfl.nu/6o5h
  Replies (38) Good night (6128) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  At least he's a nutritious stoner...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches. (1-402): At least he's a nutritious stoner... http://tfl.nu/2qp4
  Replies (18) Good night (8086) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady." http://tfl.nu/ftym
  Replies (11) Good night (6140) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon. http://tfl.nu/tzl9
  Replies (57) Good night (20171) Bad night (1245) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. http://tfl.nu/aea7
  Replies (16) Good night (917) Bad night (3899) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her? http://tfl.nu/02kh
  Replies (9) Good night (2540) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed http://tfl.nu/lgzp
  Replies (15) Good night (4489) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser. http://tfl.nu/y4fk
  Replies (16) Good night (5602) Bad night (1274) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to get rid of the hedgehog.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Does it come with a cage?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yes. and food and toys.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i'll trade you an 8th for it

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  deal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i have to get rid of the hedgehog. (765): Does it come with a cage? (201): yes. and food and toys. (765): i'll trade you an 8th for it (201): deal. http://tfl.nu/2d4g
  Replies (26) Good night (9606) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants http://tfl.nu/bet3
  Replies (14) Good night (13879) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer. http://tfl.nu/0wtr
  Replies (20) Good night (3748) Bad night (2293) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): why is there cat hair all over my deoderant? (1-330): she wanted to smell more freshershest than you. http://tfl.nu/rk6z
  Replies (33) Good night (5624) Bad night (1444) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet. http://tfl.nu/q394
  Replies (18) Good night (1160) Bad night (6390) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up http://tfl.nu/co6p
  Replies (64) Good night (512) Bad night (3472) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day. http://tfl.nu/6xwz
  Replies (6) Good night (2412) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?! http://tfl.nu/ajcv
  Replies (16) Good night (1086) Bad night (4623) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"? http://tfl.nu/3j2r
  Replies (32) Good night (16977) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt