he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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