Texts From Last Night

dudette's Favorites Texts:

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  (914): View more from New York

  My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.

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  (914): My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off. http://tfl.nu/9ogm
  Replies (11) Good night (1728) Bad night (3983) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?

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  (925): Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of? http://tfl.nu/w46i
  Replies (9) Good night (2255) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.

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  (612): Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now. http://tfl.nu/5ad5
  Replies (15) Good night (3735) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  the ceiling is raining jello shotss

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  (443): the ceiling is raining jello shotss http://tfl.nu/ruds
  Replies (4) Good night (3748) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars

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  (516): Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars http://tfl.nu/6xt5
  Replies (21) Good night (7045) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.

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  (516): The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right. http://tfl.nu/nc3r
  Replies (14) Good night (4049) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks

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  (804): ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks http://tfl.nu/unmu
  Replies (19) Good night (3283) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "

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  (405): i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it. (1-405): i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. " http://tfl.nu/mvrv
  Replies (40) Good night (9553) Bad night (920)
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  (845): View more from New York

  alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.

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  (845): alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization. http://tfl.nu/1m6d
  Replies (16) Good night (8433) Bad night (1098) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..

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  (760): You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching.. http://tfl.nu/8ueu
  Replies (11) Good night (913) Bad night (4061) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.

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  (434): He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears. http://tfl.nu/acnv
  Replies (41) Good night (12525) Bad night (1253) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.

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  (413): Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang. http://tfl.nu/dwae
  Replies (15) Good night (653) Bad night (5361) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.

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  (925): Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you. http://tfl.nu/15wm
  Replies (19) Good night (6252) Bad night (902)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?

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  (315): I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic? http://tfl.nu/satp
  Replies (23) Good night (4113) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done

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  (516): I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done http://tfl.nu/fwxa
  Replies (15) Good night (3636) Bad night (2720) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.

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  (508): I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car. http://tfl.nu/9e5w
  Replies (18) Good night (4360) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.

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  (516): Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style. http://tfl.nu/uxcc
  Replies (60) Good night (8156) Bad night (1567) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"

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  (516): I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!" http://tfl.nu/g6w4
  Replies (81) Good night (4871) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.

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  (516): Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits. http://tfl.nu/o0ux
  Replies (86) Good night (1130) Bad night (2551)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.

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  (912): you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet. (919): That explains the puddle of pee in my closet. http://tfl.nu/tfvg
  Replies (7) Good night (1046) Bad night (5160)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.

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  (773): Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize. http://tfl.nu/bs3u
  Replies (6) Good night (3485) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud

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  (863): just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud http://tfl.nu/54kw
  Replies (11) Good night (4745) Bad night (701)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"

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  (608): so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!" http://tfl.nu/79w8
  Replies (37) Good night (9680) Bad night (2039) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.

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  (706): dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left. http://tfl.nu/hrhu
  Replies (36) Good night (940) Bad night (7098) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf

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  (512): everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf http://tfl.nu/ndyg
  Replies (26) Good night (704) Bad night (5214) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour

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  (978): u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour http://tfl.nu/oz5v
  Replies (10) Good night (1308) Bad night (3180) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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  (949): so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later" http://tfl.nu/dpva
  Replies (17) Good night (6676) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.

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  (480): I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen. http://tfl.nu/7g0m
  Replies (51) Good night (9265) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  nope, you were tallying rejections at the party

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  (313): hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots? (734): nope, you were tallying rejections at the party http://tfl.nu/c1is
  Replies (8) Good night (961) Bad night (5824)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  please don't ever take me to a strip club again...

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  (217): you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals... (1-217): please don't ever take me to a strip club again... http://tfl.nu/2ds8
  Replies (29) Good night (5839) Bad night (1537)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.

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  (970): you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake. http://tfl.nu/y1g9
  Replies (18) Good night (919) Bad night (4406) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.

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  (914): getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/b9qd
  Replies (60) Good night (700) Bad night (5962) Order T-Shirt