If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
