Texts From Last Night

TeepeeGirl's Favorites Texts:

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown

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  (816): Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown http://tfl.nu/kwyi
  Replies (2) Good night (307) Bad night (108) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.

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  (831): ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty. http://tfl.nu/yaxr
  Replies (2) Good night (199) Bad night (98) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs

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  (224): bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs http://tfl.nu/2u5i
  Replies (8) Good night (554) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them

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  (617): Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them http://tfl.nu/p251
  Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast

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  (440): That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast http://tfl.nu/nk0g
  Replies (6) Good night (446) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.

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  (516): No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it. http://tfl.nu/ephi
  Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (209)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep

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  (281): I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep http://tfl.nu/mi4b
  Replies (4) Good night (514) Bad night (321)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.

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  (847): I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday. http://tfl.nu/imb1
  Replies (9) Good night (336) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.

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  (404): Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now. http://tfl.nu/qdkd
  Replies (19) Good night (991) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you

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  (203): I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop... (860): the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you http://tfl.nu/0s0c
  Replies (9) Good night (1815) Bad night (344)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo

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  (402): dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo http://tfl.nu/g9sl
  Replies (7) Good night (630) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty

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  (541): Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty http://tfl.nu/qyka
  Replies (9) Good night (534) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No now I'm curious!

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  (412): My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already (1-412): No now I'm curious! http://tfl.nu/td3j
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (460)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.

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  (540): Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot. http://tfl.nu/omko
  Replies (8) Good night (1583) Bad night (240)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.

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  (864): Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you. http://tfl.nu/kfw2
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (248) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's like the blind leading the senile over here.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.

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  (541): It's like the blind leading the senile over here. (541): UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili. http://tfl.nu/cgpf
  Replies (7) Good night (1588) Bad night (770)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.

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  (309): It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change. http://tfl.nu/p0m1
  Replies (14) Good night (839) Bad night (696)
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  (310): View more from California

  Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation

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  (310): Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation http://tfl.nu/nk1k
  Replies (10) Good night (343) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.

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  (757): and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion. http://tfl.nu/2944
  Replies (6) Good night (1164) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..

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  (518): I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls.. http://tfl.nu/o5go
  Replies (3) Good night (467) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm

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  (330): Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm http://tfl.nu/amcj
  Replies (4) Good night (361) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.

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  (307): I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes. http://tfl.nu/vcco
  Replies (6) Good night (907) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class

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  (814): I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class http://tfl.nu/2lhx
  Replies (7) Good night (917) Bad night (266) Order T-Shirt