Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Loading more great texts...