Texts From Last Night

ESKellington's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you. http://tfl.nu/8mod
  Replies (12) Good night (3447) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/tn9h
  Replies (18) Good night (7754) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/b6gr
  Replies (34) Good night (14713) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  and I must say, you were very persuasive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight. (303): and I must say, you were very persuasive http://tfl.nu/e18p
  Replies (74) Good night (17136) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus http://tfl.nu/il4r
  Replies (12) Good night (652) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar. http://tfl.nu/t9uo
  Replies (59) Good night (4745) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does. http://tfl.nu/uw0a
  Replies (28) Good night (4901) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry. http://tfl.nu/ss0l
  Replies (13) Good night (8243) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Fuck. Wron person. But yea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex (404): Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut (770): Fuck. Wron person. But yea http://tfl.nu/bsak
  Replies (26) Good night (1477) Bad night (3195)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (830): she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again. http://tfl.nu/v31h
  Replies (17) Good night (787) Bad night (4472) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  You don't think I'm weird or immature right?

  (917): View more from New York City

  No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): You don't think I'm weird or immature right? (917): No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets http://tfl.nu/6cpc
  Replies (40) Good night (4454) Bad night (3706)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell.. http://tfl.nu/hsjq
  Replies (37) Good night (12892) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered' http://tfl.nu/8qxk
  Replies (12) Good night (4658) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone http://tfl.nu/esjp
  Replies (68) Good night (6181) Bad night (1279) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke http://tfl.nu/ag71
  Replies (25) Good night (646) Bad night (7157) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting. http://tfl.nu/pz3u
  Replies (27) Good night (8468) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame' http://tfl.nu/un7j
  Replies (16) Good night (3606) Bad night (3755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs' http://tfl.nu/aa98
  Replies (37) Good night (1048) Bad night (16711) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed http://tfl.nu/sgs1
  Replies (19) Good night (3496) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics http://tfl.nu/hk15
  Replies (69) Good night (4132) Bad night (1315) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world http://tfl.nu/qaz3
  Replies (30) Good night (6570) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense. http://tfl.nu/wj9q
  Replies (23) Good night (7360) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!? http://tfl.nu/xjgi
  Replies (29) Good night (525) Bad night (3820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Do you want the good news or bad news first?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  bad news

  (205): View more from Alabama

  The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Do you want the good news or bad news first? (678): bad news (205): The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos. http://tfl.nu/6wx8
  Replies (17) Good night (3683) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit. http://tfl.nu/3r6b
  Replies (14) Good night (4690) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why are my keys in the refrigerator?

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  This explains so much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Why are my keys in the refrigerator? (1-205): You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you. (205): This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/ouwy
  Replies (29) Good night (16810) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is (1-334): I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P http://tfl.nu/fyjw
  Replies (5) Good night (691) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Call me "white mamba"

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake

  (251): View more from Alabama

  It is white.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Call me "white mamba" (334): Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake (251): It is white. http://tfl.nu/1p0c
  Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  He had some BAD nuttage

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Nuttage?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  It's like cleavage......... but different

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): He had some BAD nuttage (334): Nuttage? (334): It's like cleavage......... but different http://tfl.nu/35mx
  Replies (12) Good night (328) Bad night (2372)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Win!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender. (205): Win! http://tfl.nu/0n6n
  Replies (12) Good night (4917) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs. http://tfl.nu/0f51
  Replies (19) Good night (492) Bad night (1761) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder. http://tfl.nu/fuyv
  Replies (20) Good night (330) Bad night (5193) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves. http://tfl.nu/rn3o
  Replies (41) Good night (11870) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around. http://tfl.nu/tfd4
  Replies (12) Good night (1316) Bad night (4645) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  so you're single again?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  yea but it was worth it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face (1-334): so you're single again? (334): yea but it was worth it http://tfl.nu/2tzr
  Replies (46) Good night (4609) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama. http://tfl.nu/24qa
  Replies (52) Good night (4449) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon http://tfl.nu/p3qx
  Replies (44) Good night (5903) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt