Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Farmville is her only friend.
smell my finger.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
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