Texts From Last Night

thistroubledsoul's Favorites Texts:

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  (407): View more from Florida

  my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

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  (407): my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed. http://tfl.nu/xljx
  Replies (87) Good night (3377) Bad night (31152) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.

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  (775): My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful. http://tfl.nu/tk77
  Replies (23) Good night (1870) Bad night (5460) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something

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  (619): She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something http://tfl.nu/p4oj
  Replies (31) Good night (809) Bad night (7220) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.

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  (646): My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/3g6q
  Replies (14) Good night (717) Bad night (6140) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there

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  (310): once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there http://tfl.nu/icqv
  Replies (36) Good night (714) Bad night (9494) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.

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  (614): she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you. http://tfl.nu/1wju
  Replies (55) Good night (8571) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it

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  (816): Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it http://tfl.nu/hlut
  Replies (65) Good night (5085) Bad night (1786) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

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  (780): We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna http://tfl.nu/yjmv
  Replies (14) Good night (1626) Bad night (4255) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.

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  (225): I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime. http://tfl.nu/9cqb
  Replies (18) Good night (637) Bad night (5280) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.

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  (330): We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever. http://tfl.nu/56mg
  Replies (38) Good night (10080) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!

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  (503): i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly! http://tfl.nu/tm2j
  Replies (63) Good night (7976) Bad night (3124)
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  (916): View more from California

  He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.

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  (916): He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car. http://tfl.nu/y9if
  Replies (15) Good night (5112) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.

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  (707): They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/dso2
  Replies (20) Good night (961) Bad night (4882) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...

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  (207): Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight... http://tfl.nu/a8ub
  Replies (25) Good night (3573) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie

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  (520): I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie http://tfl.nu/225r
  Replies (39) Good night (7318) Bad night (1363) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about

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  (781): my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about http://tfl.nu/1vap
  Replies (27) Good night (1288) Bad night (6599)
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  (607): View more from New York

  since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.

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  (607): since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket. http://tfl.nu/tn78
  Replies (48) Good night (4701) Bad night (943)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we just fucked in the mcds parking lot

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  wasnt he a virgin

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  yes we got celebratory milkshakes after

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  (732): we just fucked in the mcds parking lot (1-732): wasnt he a virgin (732): yes we got celebratory milkshakes after http://tfl.nu/wnnd
  Replies (60) Good night (13265) Bad night (1035)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.

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  (610): There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here. http://tfl.nu/6w86
  Replies (30) Good night (1258) Bad night (12769) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.

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  (763): I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it. http://tfl.nu/zncn
  Replies (32) Good night (6652) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.

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  (419): I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf. http://tfl.nu/4l78
  Replies (41) Good night (1599) Bad night (9371) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?

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  (509): I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have? http://tfl.nu/03l6
  Replies (23) Good night (3052) Bad night (1515)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?

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  (540): Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift? http://tfl.nu/ixd3
  Replies (53) Good night (1645) Bad night (5594) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions

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  (778): I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions http://tfl.nu/u0tu
  Replies (27) Good night (1405) Bad night (3547) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?

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  (727): Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose? http://tfl.nu/qulw
  Replies (112) Good night (1076) Bad night (15925) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?

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  (949): i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph? http://tfl.nu/h05l
  Replies (42) Good night (8188) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  well apparently not.

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  (978): saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in? (1-978): well apparently not. http://tfl.nu/kqax
  Replies (50) Good night (1272) Bad night (5284) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Mom wtf!?

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  (407): Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :) (1-407): Mom wtf!? http://tfl.nu/scw1
  Replies (33) Good night (5867) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Is that considered a cock block?

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  (419): I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me? (937): Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls. (419): Is that considered a cock block? http://tfl.nu/pjdr
  Replies (48) Good night (8467) Bad night (987)