I wanna passion pit in your ass
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Yo dont text me then not text me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.