I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
