I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
